Doll
by AlwaysMaybeObsessed
Summary: Archie just wanted to help him, Maxie understood that. Neither man could even guess what they had walked into when that lie was planted. (A fake dating AU with Hardenshipping) [Rated M for very heavy stuff: #abuse, #manipulation, #homophobia, #child abuse]
1. The lie

Maxie's family was...unique. They were all contest stars, doctors, lawyers, CEOs; only the best of the best that dreamed of starting a family so the cycle could begin again. They were all outstanding citizens, hard workers and the life of whatever room they walked into.

His parents were no different. His father a manager for one of the most prestigious business firms in Hoenn while his mother was a retired world-class contest star. His cousin had gotten an acting contract at 8 years old, and signed off on the lease for her third mansion at 19. Another aced his medical license and couldn't keep hospitals from around the nation asking for an interview.

Something had went wrong for him and his siblings though. He had always felt out of place. That the level of perfection to be expected out of him once he was able to speak seemed unobtainable. He had tried; oh by everything in his entire being had he tried.

But then his oldest brother that could never fake how he felt or fake how much he hated being forced into a musical degree became a wandering spirit under the whispers of being a crime lord.

Then his other oldest, the bright twin who covered for his identical clone that pulled the wool off his eyes and disowned his family.

Both chasing what they desired and not being model children. Respectable adults. _A perfect family_.

Leaving all the expectation onto Maxie. The youngest, the _**baby**_.

"Max darling please remove those awful things." His mother sat across the table. Dressed nicely and smiling in that oh-so-kind manner that he felt shame burning into his cheeks as replaced his thick frames for the wire glasses she provided him. "Now, how have you been doing? Eating a proper diet?"

"I...yes mother." Maxie swallowed hard. "I've been doing well. What happened with the...everything, nothing was written on my records."

"Courtesy of the Champion yes? Good." Sipping her tea her eyes flickered up from her reflection in the liquid. "Have you made your choice yet?"

 _Right to the point...as always..._ He felt his mouth opening regardless of the fact he didn't have an answer. Rather, he did, but not one she would like. Which meant it wasn't an option.

"I-I..."

"Yo Maxie did ya get the-oh." As if on cue for a cruel joke Archie came bursting through his office door grinning ear to ear before his expression dropped. "Um...am I interruptin somethin here?"

"Oh my, Archibald is that you? My you've grown so much since I last saw you." His mother smile widened as she waved him over. Archie looked baffled as he walked slowly over to his side.

"Uh...Ma'am?"

"Archie." The name held more weight than he anticipated as he spoke. "Surely you remember my mother."

"Wh...holy- damn you really didn't age a day did ya?" The upturn of lips turned in a strained but amazed smile setting her at ease. Blushing a bit she laughed.

"Such a flatterer! You've grown into a handsome man too... be careful complimenting me like that; I'm faithfully married you know." They joked a bit as Maxie shifted uncomfortably. Dreading the next words that would surely come out of her mouth. "Please, sit down for awhile. Max and I were just talking about a few things."

"Well I was just-" Any arguments were hushed as he was seated next to him under a silent but expectant stare. His mother glowing with happiness when he adjusted awkwardly next Maxie with a cup of tea.

"I remember when you two were little Max use to be the taller one...ah how time flies..." Digging through her purse she pulled out 3 velvet picture holders. Each one with a different woman on the front that made his blood run cold. "Speaking of children..."

The man next to him arched an eyebrow as she place the three pictures in front of him. Her hand lingering on a specific one the redhead knew she preferred.

"So...who are these girls exactly?" Archie tried to ask casually as he took a drink from his cup.

"Bachelorettes, but once Max makes his choice one of them will be his bride." Maxie didn't look at the expression the pirate made when he choked on his tea. Nor responding to the proud tone his mother used.

"P-people still *cough* do those things? Arranged marriages?"

"It's a family tradition. Who knows you better than the people that raised you?" _Yourself, for one._ "Now, which will it be Max? You know I think Daisy would be the best choice although your father is fond of Yani. Always a sucker for the exotic types that one, but Daisy is a sweet and simple girl who would be more suitable to handle your eccentric tendencies. There's Trish too if you prefer the...out of the ordinary type. Very anti-conformity that one."

"Isn't that uh...shouldn't he have more time to-?"

"He isn't getting any younger." She cut off Archie with a twitch of a frown. "Now is the best time for marriage and within a year or two they'll have a little bundle of joy-"

"Mother. If I may, what if..." Maxie took a deep breath. Like all attention was on him, he felt it shake his rib cage as he tried to keep his voice even. "What if I don't want to get married..?"

His mother was silent for awhile. Drinking her tea with that small smile that made his anxiety crop up more and more each second. Finally she set her cup down and-

 _ ***SLAP***_

The crack of skin striking against skin sounded similar to a lightening strike. Maxie could hear his glasses hit the floor a good few yards away as the painful throbbing of his cheek registered alongside the panicked 'What the hell is wrong with you?!' Archie yelled out. The ringing in his skull lingered as he rang a tongue over his lip. Tasting iron and raw flesh while trying to numbly shoo away the large hands trying to inspect his face.

"Max." It was soft. A few seconds away from getting angry he knew. His vision was foggy from the sudden violence and lack of eyewear, but he tried to keep his eyes on her. "I **am** doing what's best for you. I let you loose for awhile and looked what happened; how many people did you hurt, how many _pokemon_? It's clear you don't know how to make your own choices. Mother is just trying to save you from becoming a complete disappointment."

His throat tightened at her words. No matter how much he apologized he could never take back almost destroying the world. Making a child clean up his mess of stupidity and arrogance. He had only proven himself incompetent as both a leader and as a person. How could someone like that be redeemed?

"Now go clean your face. You look unsightly." As much as he didn't want to follow through with his family's wishes...did he know what was the best decision anymore? _I'll be miserable._ But right now, of his own choice he was nothing but alone and full of regret. So...so...

"Yes mother."

"When you're done you'll pick your bride so I can start planning the wedding." Maxie just nodded ever so slightly. Standing up and walking to the bathroom with stiff legs not wanting to move.

 _...I thought...with a witness...she must be losing her patience with me._ His mother used to be so adamant when expressing her displeasure. Only when they were by themselves, or in the presence of his father. Never hard enough to bruise or damage anything.

Yet here he was; his reflection spouting a busted lip and bright red hand print on his cheek to his jaw. Touching it made him flinch. It still burned under even the lightest touch and worriedly he had to wonder if it would swell.

 _I won't be able to hide that..._ He clutched the sink until his knuckles turned white. Failing to suppress the tremble that shook his entire body Maxie set to work on finding something to aid his lip.

* * *

"You should really mind your own business Archibald. This is a family matter." Maxie's mother's words broke him out of his stupor. Archie had been more than shocked at the sudden mistreatment she had inflicted on the Magma Leader.

"Private or not ya don't _hit_ people all cause they don't wanna do what you want!" In all the years his family had known Maxie's, they were usually very nice and always talked things out. The mother was especially kind to him throughout the decades. So how this occurred...it didn't make any sense!

"Why do you care?" Archie blinked at that. She hadn't dropped her smile throughout the conversation. Once sweet and loving now looked almost threatening as she poured herself more tea. "My son is an adult. A member of one of the most elite families in Hoenn. He doesn't require a babysitter- well, not from a _man_ you understand."

"..." What could he say to any of this? Yeah him and Maxie weren't the closest bunch after everything that happened. Back when they were kids sure they played together but were casual friends and nothing more. Who would just let this shit fly though?!

"Archie...do you understand what's at stake here? Our traditions let us continue to be the best. The cream of the crop if you will." Smiling fondly she tapped one of the girl's pictures with a perfect finger. "Isn't she gorgeous? Her and Max would make beautiful children. Prime mix of genetics for a future contest star. A return to the stage to reclaim the title of 'world class.' He would be unhappy, at first, but reliving such a dream might spark that inner contestant again!"

His mouth felt dry and his teeth clenched in rage. His mind however was filling with despair. It was obvious she would not listen to reason nor respect Maxie's choice and get over her twisted idealized future.

"He can't!" _Think Archie...! Quickly...!_ "H-he's already seeing someone!"

"Hmm...? Is that so...? WHO then?" _Shit shit shit-fuck it!_

"M...me and him are..." Maxie's mother looked up surprised. Honestly Archie was equally surprised at what he had said but it was too late to back out now. "He didn't want to say anything cause we just started dating, ya know? Didn't want to get any hopes up too high so early into it."

"R...really now?" She wasn't smiling anymore. More silent than anything. "...for how long?"

"H-huh? Er...a...few weeks now. Not even a month actually."

Archie could feel the sweat forming on his skin as she seemed to think this over. Not lashing out or acting pleased. In fact acting incredibly...uncertain.

"You...and my son are...intimate." She said it slowly. Watching him as if to gauge a reaction and seek confirmation.

"Yeah we're- I mean we just started so there hasn't been any of _that_ yet."

"Stand up."

"Ex...cuse me?" She didn't have to repeat herself as she stomped over to his side and dragged him up by his arm. Contrary to her petite size and tiny arms it was like his weight was only a small problem. Instantly she started looking him over. Pulling off his bandana and circling him like a predator ready to strike.

"Do you dye your hair? What manner of exercise did you use to gain this mass? What skin products do you use? Any allergies or immediate family health issues I should know of?"

"No I don't. Um swimming and weight training. Nothing really. No real allergies and...I think my grandpap had some lung issues but he was a heavy smoker so..."

"Of course I'll check things over to make triple sure...hm...if I got the right surrogate...I suppose it'll be fine." Nodding more to herself than to him she took a step back. A large smile growing steadily that reminded him of way back when. "My son has been taking awhile, don't you think? Please fetch him for me if you will."

 _Thank christ!_ Moving towards the bathroom he could feel her eyes on his back well into when he picked up the cracked glasses and closed the door.

"Maxie, you okay?" His old rival stood rigid in front of the mirror. He didn't respond. "...Maxie?"

Archie felt a sudden wave of fear as Maxie turned with dead eyes. His lip had stopped bleeding and a small ice pack was being cradled against a blackening bruise on his cheek. The usually expressive, at the very least scowling man seemed empty. Blank.

Without a word he handed him his glasses. His movements were robotic. Much too stiff and even with his vision restored he looked past Archie.

"Maxie...hey...let me see the, ya know...I've been decked more times than I can count." The redhead offered little resistance as he inspected his face. Any redness had given way to a nasty mix of green and black. Touching it gave him the only resemblance to a facial expression but not one he wanted to see. _...Ouch that's gonna be an ugly one._

"It's bad." His voice came out flat. Not matter of factly. Not curtly. Not sadly.

"I...yeah. It's not pretty." Right now Archie couldn't muster up the ability to lie to him. After what just happened it'd probably be best to just be honest.

"...give me a moment." Maxie turned back to the mirror. Pressing a hand against the frame it popped open to reveal a medicine cabinet. He rummaged around for a second before pulling out a makeup kit. The pirate could just stand there as he mixed the the colors of skin to fit his complexation with ease.

"Maxie-"

"I'm done. I need to go back." He didn't meet his concerned gaze. Marching forward after sealing it Archie quickly grabbed his arm before he could open the door.

"There's something I gotta tell ya before you go out there."

"...she didn't try anything when I was...?" A look of panic broke out on Maxie's face as he whispered the question. _...I..._

"N-no! Nothing. I just- when you went in here we traded some words and..." Archie fumbled a bit with his tongue. Following him in quieting his next sentence he murmured. "I told her we were together."

Maxie blinked in stunned silence before a range of emotions crossed his features; surprise, anger...then fear. "Why."

He couldn't answer. He wasn't so sure himself. _I wanted to help. You don't deserve that. Your mother is nuts._

"Are you _**insane**_?! No no no...! You need to get out there this instant and tell her you were lying or _joking_ or...! Anything just- we are not! You can't-!" Never had Archie seen the Magma leader going into such a hysterical state. Maxie grew pale, sweating a bit as he strained to put his thoughts into proper words. "You, cannot, **cannot** be apart of this- okay? My family...there's too many of them in places where if anything went wrong they'd- You need to stay away from me. Away from my family. Just forget what you saw today. Forget anything you heard and just...Just-dammit Archie what have you done..."

Maxie wasn't scared, or worried...no he was absolutely terrified. For Archie. For _HIM_.

"Did-did what just happened earlier not happen? I'LL be fine-"

"Dears, not to ruin the pep talk but I'm still here~"

" ." His ex rival mouthed urgently.

Walking back into Maxie's office they were greeted with the sight of his mother chatting rather excitedly on her cellphone.

"Yes..! I was shocked too Rayna! Our little boys in love!~"

Archie felt every drop of blood in his body turn to ice.

"I'll call you if I hear anything else. Yes...goodbye dear." Turning on her heels she practically glowed with happiness when facing them. "Archibald I was just speaking to your mother! She's over the moon you finally found someone! Although she's very upset you haven't been calling much and she didn't hear it from your mouth directly she's still VERY happy for you!"

"I...is that right." His brain was considering going into fight or flight mode. To admit he was lying and save himself from the shit storm he just unleashed once his family was notified. Leaving Maxie to deal with the mess he unintentionally made WORSE and...no. He couldn't do that to him. Besides, now that his mother knew...

It was too late to back out.

"And...I must admit I'm a little steamed you weren't going to tell me either Max. I'm your _mother_!"

"I...my apologies." The redhead next to him managed out. His mother shook her head but kept her peppy tone as she spoke.

"Hmm...though I suppose I can see why you wanted to hide it. Dating a criminal, much less a family friend is not easy to say out loud." He held in a sharp 'who the hell are you calling a criminal?!' when Maxie shot him a sideways glance. "At first I was very **very** concerned! Still, I thought on it, and considering how sweet little Archie was on you Max...perhaps you have our blood running through you after all~"

He tried to not let the little flinch the other did when she grabbed his face for a kiss stir up pity. Hiding the grimace Archie leaned down and let her kiss his forehead too before she grabbed her purse in a almost skipping manner.

"I can't wait for you two to get engaged!~ But! First things first- here is the invitation for the family dinner Max. I expect Archie to show up in his best suite too! Your cousins will just _**love**_ him; I'm sure." For a second her expression dropped to disgust. "Your...brothers, might come as well once I tell them the news. Thus I'd...forewarn Archie of how to deal with them."

"Of course."

"Oh your father will be pleased...! Ta-ta my loves I have some calls to make!~" With a small wave she left the room. Leaving them to stand there in awkward silence.

"..." Maxie made a noise that reminded him of a dying wailord. "...I honestly don't know if this is any better than being married off to a harpy."

"My family...is going to be _pissed_." Archie rubbed his face as dread took up his thoughts. "My dad is going to fucking **kill** me..."

He wasn't sure if he helped anyone because right now...

...it felt like he just fucked them both.


	2. The facade

A week came and went with no contact from Team Aqua or it's leader. After the 4th day Maxie was certain he had heeded his words and told his mother, who would tell Maxie's mother, that it was all a lie. That there wasn't even a drop of lingering friendship from ages ago left between them and that he...Maxie, was still very single and prime for marrying a hand plucked cookie cutter bride.

"Sir, team Aqua's leader is here." He didn't get a moment to question what he heard because Archie waltzed into his office with a bag weighing heavily on his shoulder.

"A little early for a drink don'tcha think?" The pirate gave a bewildered look at the cup in his hand filled to near spilling and a half emptied bottle next to him.

"It's only my second-"

"Is...is that _bourbon_?!"

Maxie didn't answer. Instead taking a drink with a shrug.

"It's 11 **am** Maxie!" Placing the bag on his couch Archie walked up to his side and snatched the bottle away. "How long have ya been doing this?"

"Hm...What day is it?"

"Are you kidding me."

"I assumed you did the smart thing and told the truth. So, I was just preparing for my future." At the memory of what awaited him Maxie chugged the burning liquid until it stopped being at the forefront of his thoughts.

"As what, a drunk?"

"No no. You aren't allowed to drink in my family save for the once every 3 year reunions. Alcohol causes bloating and _undesirable_ actions to happen thus I'm getting my fill now before..." Yet no matter how much he drank it was never forgotten. Rules and facts and how he should and shouldn't be reacting to this and that and-

"Ya look miserable." Archie stated matter of factly. Maxie couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up.

"Side effect of ever dealing with my relatives. Now judging from the fact you're here; you decided to be stupid. _**Fantastic**_."

"Er...well yeah. Wait- no 'm not being _stupid_ I'm..."

"Doing what?" Ah...when had he finished his drink? "Besides signing your own death certificate?"

"I'm TRYING to help!"

"Yes, well, help yourself by turning around and go back to being a fake pirate." He wanted to laugh again at the face Archie sent his way. All offended and a touch embarrassed.

"My accent is 100% **genuine**!"

"We were raised in the same town until we were 15 Archie. Unless I'm mistaken I don't happen to speak in such a manner. Actually, if I recall correctly, you started talking like that during your little mermaid phase-"

"I don't have to take this." With a snarl Archie turned and went to stomp out of the room. Halting about halfway before letting out a heavy sigh. "I know what yer doing."

Turning back around, he walked back to the front of his desk and folded his arms.

"Tryin to get me to storm outta here isn't gonna work."

"It almost did." Maxie muttered. Glaring at his empty cup as a migraine threatened to return for the uptenth time.

"We're in this together."

"I'd rather we not." He stood up and held in a groan at the remembrance of the state of his room. "Just...wait here for a moment."

"What? Yer room messy? Bro I really could give two shits-"

"It's not _messy_." Maxie hissed. Tossing the cup in the garbage bin he pushed open the unlocked door with his foot. Glancing around at the garbage ridden floor he grumbled. "It's a wreck."

"Christ sake...hand me a bag. How many bottles are there...?!"

"At least 37." He answered with the smallest amount of sass he could manage. Really it was difficult in his current state. Before...before he was certain he'd never drink in his life. Nothing was _ever_ so bad you had to turn to alcohol to forget. "I decided to try my brother's outtake on dealing with his problems."

"So, erm, yer brother drinks a lot?"

"There is rarely an occasion where he isn't drunk." Oh it was much more complex than being a simple alcoholic. His brother was fully functioning, if not _better_ at living life with a drink always in hand.

"While we're doing this...tell me about 'em. Yer brothers. Your mom mentioned they were uh...special to deal with?" He felt Archie's eyes on his back as they worked. "I don't really remember them much..."

"I have two older brothers. A set of identical twins. The oldest is Matsubusa; the one who likes to drink. He's...very eccentric. Likes odd things and teasing people. I will warn you he has a tendency to scare people away. You might remember him as...the crazy one."

"Oh. OH shit the guy who set fire to the highschool during the science fair?! Isn't he part of a gang now?"

"He runs an organization. He's not a THUG." Maxie snapped. Glaring holes into the other who instantly threw his hands up.

"I-okay okay. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"He...maybe sometimes they do things that aren't completely legal but..." Complicated. It was complicated.

"Forget it. How about the other one? The...didn't yer other bro have your name?"

"Maxwell? It's more...the other way around. He came first after all. Mother rather liked the variations and since he was more skilled in schoolwork than contests...I was there to take his place." He felt a smile tugging at his lips. "He's very intelligent, both him and Matsubusa are just short of genius. Where Matsubusa enjoys alcohol Maxwell enjoys working. If not working than studying- what's with that look."

"I don't think I've ever seen ya talk so fondly of _anyone_ before. Yer gettin all smiley and defensive...it's weird." Archie chuckled as he finished 'his' side of the room. Tugging the bag closed with loud clinking of bottles.

"Shut up."

"No man it's...haha just, ya really look up to them huh?" He wasn't 5 anymore. Not a child who needed a role model to aspire to be.

"They were all I had."

"Ouch. We were friends back then-"  
"You and all the others were behind a wall of ignorance. Only my family knows what goes on in said family. Family friends don't get that privilege. Everyone gets the pretty outer shell and that's it." Maxie finished the rest of the room with a heavy sigh. Part of him wanted to ignore Archie's presence and just sleep until his father came busting down his door.

"Well...I'm going to be...urgh...part of it soon yeah?" That made him wince.

"How did they take it?"

"Huh?"

"Your family. How did they take the news?" His old rival shifted from discomfort to extremely stressed. Dark circles under his eyes become more visible to Maxie. _Great...we match._

"They uh...my dad is upset." He kept silent as Archie continued. "They're not exactly- my parents aren't...they're very... _ **traditional**_ in how they view relationships and marriage."

"I remembered so I thought I'd ask."

"Poorly. If I'mma be blunt. He was hollerin at me over the phone for an hour on how much of a disgrace I was. Dating a guy and...a friend they used to let visit. He wanted to know if you were the one who pressured me into it." Fetching two chairs Maxie motioned him to sit down. "I didn't by the way. I said I was the one who...yeah."

He watched the other avoided eye contact in the sudden quiet. Slowly he glanced up at the ceiling in thought. "You're very uncomfortable with this."

"I'm...this isn't how I ever wanted to start going out with someone and- we both never...not in a romantic sense or even...I mean I know yer parents aren't big on **that** either so you might have some apprehension-"

"No."

"-because yer mom was...not very keen when the idea was brought up. I don't want to push ya since we need to look natural and this is sorta my fault and-"

"Archie."

"-and I don't really...know what to do but I can try to act however ya need to get them off yer back-"

" **Ar-chie.** " Maxie tried to not shout as Archie finally shut his mouth. _Really what is he blathering about..?!_ "Yes a majority of my relatives prefer the simplicity of heterosexual relationships but they aren't above getting a surrogate for same sex couples."

"Then...what's the problem?" The pirate's eyes narrowed in confusion while he muttered.

"..."

"Maxie?"

"...I like men." For awhile no one said a word after that utterance. When it was clear to him Archie still didn't understand he spoke shamefully. "I _only_ like men."

"That's...now I'm even more confused. If yer...gay, but yer family is fine with it then-"

"Dammit Archie you just don't _**get it**_ do you..!?" Maxie rubbed his temples angrily. He shouldn't get angry with the other over this. What they did as a norm was not something _normal_ people do and yet...

"Then EXPLAIN it to me! 'm trying to understand Max!"

"First of all-" His head shot up and felt himself scowling harshly as venom dripped into his throat. Jabbing a finger at Archie he tried to control the shaking in his arm." **Never** call me that."

"Maxie your hand's-"

"There was a plan Archie. As a child of my family there is a plan you follow from the day you're born. You follow it and listen to whatever you're told to do and if you can't do it you work _**harder**_ until you..." Burn out. Leave. Want to disappear. "Mother and Father picked out Daisy when I was 12. I was supposed to marry her at 22 and have children at 24. Mother wanted us to have a daughter and start her training at 5 for a stronger chance at succeeding in contests."

"She...12?! You were TWELVE?! No, hold the fuck up even if there was a planning thing a 12 year old can't consent to marriage!"

"It doesn't matter how screwed up it is; I couldn't follow the path set for me." Maybe if he had liked both sexs it could've been different. He might've been able to fake it until love happened on its own or at least until indifferent acceptance took effect. "I gave up contests. I can't even follow the bare minimum expectation of having children with a perfect wife. Do you expect them to be okay with that?"

"Why do they care so much about that?! Why all the tests and studying and finding one that'll make you have a baby's picture cover child instead of, oh I don't know, you being _happy_?!" Frustration growing, Archie threw his arms up to emphasis this. The movement was much too fast for Maxie's liking apparently as he felt himself flinch painfully inward. "Shit-"

"Good looks have to be carefully picked, you can shape their personality over time to fit the mold to better their career. Good genes make sure they live a long and fulfilling life so they can get married and follow in your foot steps." He shut his mouth tight after that. Natural instincts to over explain needed to be controlled. The party was only a few weeks away.

"...I'm...how's yer cheek?"

"Fine." Despite his claim he felt a large hand slowly cupping his cheek and tilting his jaw. Part of him wished it didn't feel like the man could see through Maxie and the makeup clear as day. "...the swelling went down so now it's just...dark."

"Yer lips looking better too...is she...normally like that?"

"Not usually in front of good company no." With a jerk he sat perfectly straight and kept his gaze firm. "Enough about that; we have more important matters to attend to."

"...right." Archie pulled back and with a strained smile he tried to keep a facade of calm.

"Would you prefer to continue to share information or move on to the physical contact?"

"Gez Maxie way to make this sound as weird as it is."

"We only have 3 weeks to make this look natural Archie."

"I...I know. Let's..." He coughed a bit. "Let's get on with the touching...stuff."

Quickly he deduced hand holding and hugging could be put on the backburner for a bit much to the pirate relief. Unfortunately the action that needed to be practiced the most was-

"Kissing."

"Yes Archie, kiss-"

"On the cheek or-" Not allowing anymore avoidance to occur Maxie dragged him down and forced their lips together. "?!"

 _Oh my god._ First was a bit of struggling.

Then coughing from lack of air.

"WARN me before-"

"You kiss like a dead fish." He deadpanned. Archie sputtered and grew bright red as he growled out.

"I **wasn't** _ready!_ "

"You NEED to be able to do so at a moments notice." Again he pulled him in. This time with more of a delay that allowed the other to prepare himself. _He's still too stiff though..._

A dozen or so minutes into it and Maxie could feel hands tentatively trying to rest on his hips. He had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at both the very unsubtle act plus the very very horrible hoverhand Archie was exhibiting. Stopping the practice he grabbed the others wrists and pressed the other's hands on his waist.

"Either put them there, on the neck to help the kiss, or don't bother touching. I am not a woman; I don't have any hips to grab."

This was weird.

More than a little weird was how little it seemed to affect his old rival now lover (was that right? That was how it was now wasn't it?). Archie hadn't had too much experience kissing men but he had assumed it wasn't too different from women. Not that he never wanted to but with his family...

Maxie's lips were soft and warm despite the awful lingering taste of booze. The expert manner of pulling him in actually made him self conscious and, dare he say, _shy_ about casually smooching the other. Those two things made the long practice dizzying and downright _**embarrassing**_.

"Hm...that should do for today. One day is not enough even for a normal couple so you may leave if you wish."

Archie was thankful for that. His face felt like it was on fire and nerves frying from the overload of foreign sensations in such a short time frame. He had been afraid of touching the man's face and throat and with no other place to put his hands he had settled on awkwardly putting them on the redhead's waist (after being guided there for it seemed he misjudged their location while trying to multitask through the kissing). All in all; not a complete fuck up.

"What, pray tell, was in the bag you brought with you earlier? Are you planning on spending the night?"

"Hu...? Oh shit- completely forgot!" Ignoring his noodle-like legs he jogged over to his carry on and pulled out the gift Shelly and Matt had made as proof of their...approval. "I knew I'd be coming over a lot more and I couldn't really risk lying or using the friendship shtick so I...told them. About us being 'together.' They were uh...more than a little enthusiastic about making ya feel welcome."

"They made me a...cake."

"Not exactly! It's...well it's kinda this...its a brookie." Presenting it to a confused looking Magma Leader Archie continued. "A brookie is a brownie with a cookie baked on top. They were very sure you'd like it!"

"Sounds...diabetic." A quirked eyebrow made a grin grow on his face when it went with the curious look the other was obviously trying to suppress.

"Only a little! Want a bite?~"

"Honestly...right now I want a shower and some sleep. So maybe later." As he took the container Archie opened his mouth and laughed sheepishly.

"And about the spending the night thing-"

"Ugh..." The look Maxie sent his way made him want to cringe. It looked so tired and _**done**_. "There are such things as phones. You could try _calling_ ahead of time so I have a chance to...forget it. I'll sleep on the couch. Do whatever until we continue tomorrow."

"Dude, bro, I am NOT taking yer bed. You...ya didn't have one for like EVER so-"

The redhead walked off mid speech. Pausing at the door to which he muttered with the slightest bit of sympathy.

"You are a guest. Soon to be apart of my family. Please don't fight me on this."

With that he left the room. Leaving Archie to worry over the heavy felt words and blush at the reminder there would be more practice to be done not too far off. _...what have I gotten myself into...?_


	3. The Ball part 1

"Raise your hand a bit- yes, now sweep to the right." Alongside kissing, general touching and learning the obnoxiously complex family structure Maxie had been graced with Archie was being taught to _waltz_ of all things! "There's a strong chance we won't have to, but just in case someone attempts to embarrass you in the basics..."

He...he was less than skilled in such a act. The redhead was a surprisingly patient teacher and didn't complain too much when he had almost dropped him (nor got upset with the millions of times he stepped on the other's toes). Making Archie lead the dance for the most part unless he needed to watch a certain movement better.

"...good. Tomorrow...tomorrow should be fine." Maxie had tried to appear non fussed but the faraway look always rubbed him that the other was just as nervous as he was. The 'party' was a three day affair in a fancy castle like building. He had had to get fitted for a suit while listening to back handed comments made by a family friend of Maxie's mother.

"...are these entirely muscle? I've never seen such size naturally!"

"Such tan skin...oh, don't mind me. Not many natives come _here_ after all so I'm a tad in awe!"

Another had done Maxie. How the man could ignore the obvious stabs was shocking to say the least.

"Waist is...26 inches? Ah...no, no, nothing is wrong. You've...grown, a bit, is all."

"Max- you know they say some gain weight after marriage? Well...cake may taste good but _skinny_ can't be compared _._ "

"I thought you were seeing that one man...oh, sorry, completely forgot! Still, isn't his new bride lovely?"

Archie had wanted to flee the second they were done. Maxie had stood his ground and acted oblivious to their words as he chose their ties. Face blank and tone even throughout the process. Sometimes even smiling.

"So tomorrow's the big day?" His mother's voice rang out loud and clear over the speaker on his phone. After about a week of tense silence she had called him back nearly in tears. "I...I'm sorry for how we reacted. Before. Your father has been tearing his hair out after our last call but all he could talk about was how _scared_ he was for you once his cousins and family found out."

"I know mom. He wasn't as bad as I thought he'd be." Archie had expected more shouting. More cursing and, being temporarily disowned. "Uncle Otieno must be pissed."

"Your father's brother...isn't happy. To be fair, the bastard is never happy with anything."

"Hey hey mom that's yer _brother in-law_!"

"And? He threw a fit on my WEDDING DAY. Made a scene and everything!" They both laughed at heavily at that. "Oh Archie...please, I'm telling you because I love you; **be careful**. Nothing against poor Maxie's family but most of them are...sketchy."

"Haha...yeah he's...he's gave me plenty of warnings on them. I'm more worried for him but..."

"He grew up with them so he's probably more aware of what to watch out for."

"Yeah..."

"...I suppose I should've waited to tell you this instead of adding to your worries but the family BBQ-"

"They want us to come?!" Archie couldn't hold the confusion drenching his voice.

"They do. Some of them want to see what made you...consider other options."

"Mom. I'm dating a guy not an alien." He knew she didn't mean for it to come out that way but...

"Ugh I know, I'm sorry. That's not what I- no, I just...I don't think it's sunk in yet. I'm happy for you really. It's just...different." She sighed. "I swear I'll get it right before he comes over."

"Keep practicin and you'll get it in no time."

"Heh...I'll check up on you after the party okay? Tell me any gossip you hear too! Oh-! And-!" She was rambling but before he could say goodbye she giggled out. "Don't get caught _doing things_ in places you're not supposed to. I don't want his mother hollering at me over the phone-"

"MOM!" They were a FAKE couple so they would never have to- at least not for- they wouldn't at **all**...right?

"Bye Archie. Have fun!"

"...bye mom."

* * *

"Maxie- dude stop pacing yer makin me nervous." They were dressed in and cleaned up and all pretty looking but the redhead had not stopped making twitchy motions the entire car ride over. Bouncing his leg or tapping his finger and now pacing in their assigned room. "...there's only one bed."

"Did you expect something else?"

"Er..." _No not really._ The place was huge; marble columns on the outside with a grand foyer and lobby decorated heavily with expensive silks and furniture and the room...! "It's nice."

"Everything is imported and overly extravagant." Deciding his energy was better suited doing something else, Maxie went to work on putting their luggage and clothing away. "Be careful not to spill anything on the sheets. They're spider silk and will cost you at least one kidney per layer."

"Wa...was that a joke? Or are ya serious?"

"Yes."

"That's not an ANSWER Maxie!" Archie wasn't sure how to respond to the poorly suppressed smirk the other was trying to hide. Nor to the idea of the _sheets_ being expensive enough to have to sell his organs. "I see ya laughing over there! Were you serious or-?!"

"Room service~!" A sudden knock at the door made him huff at Maxie before walking to open the door.

"Sorry we didn't order-"

"Right right. Move your ass Maxwell Jr!" A flash of red shoved past him, or, rather, bumped Archie and the door with his hip with a large silver tray in one hand and a bottle of alcohol in the other. "Maxie-maxxxx! Guess who?"

Maxie flinched and turned slowly to face (the mostly likely) his relative. The man was tall, easily a head or two taller than Archie and at least 3 heads taller than the petite Magma leader. With strikingly red hair (it had to be a family trait) smoothed back with the signature curled ends looking rather sharp instead of soft. His suite was basic black with no tie to be seen. A few buttons of his dress shirt were open at the top exposing his neck that had a rather horrible looking scar-

"No." Who was he and why did the other not look *too* displeased about them being here? Was it a cousin? One of his brothers? Everyone looking 'youthful' and defying age made figuring out who was what a headache.

"Yes!" Regardless, the man presented the tray to Maxie. It was loaded with sweets from slices of cake to chocolates and cookies. "You have 15 minutes."

"Mother will have a heart attack. I refuse-"

"Yesssss! Think fast!" With a unnaturally wild grin the giant shoved the confections into the redhead's hands. _He...are those_ _ **fangs**_ _?!_ "I bought them for you so not a single crumb better go to waste!"

"Matsu-"

"Oh...? And is this the man of honor?~" _Oh shit this is-_ "Archie hmm? My my look who grew up...from a cupcake to a mountain. Well, _less_ of a cupcake anyway."

"What the _ **hell**_ are ya talking about." He was certainly not a _cupcake_. Not back then and certainly not NOW. Matsubusa only smiled innocently while not so innocently leering at his body.

"Maxie-max, I gotta say...good choice." Like a revolving tower Maxie's brother circled around Archie while he grew increasingly more uncomfortable at the looks shot his way. "Nice form. Heights a tad small but you're tiny so it evens out. Good proportions...and a great ass."

At the last comment he felt a hand slap his behind in a almost congratulatory manner. Making Archie yelp and glare at the smirking redhead.

"Aw, cute~ Archie still got some fight left. And here I thought good looks and a bubble butt were all you had to offer."

First he wanted to snap at the man but the comment about his ass made him sputter and yell. "I do **not** have a bubble butt!"

"Yes you do; why so ashamed? Or, have you never looked at your own ass? It's _not flat_." Matsubusa made a motion with his hand. "If I had to guess...about the size of two half cut honeydew melons. For someone who swims as often as you I have to admit I'm shocked at the lack of firmness."

"Y-you...!"

"I-I? Speak up man or you're never going to win my brother's heart- mph?" Finally Maxie stepped in. Shoving a chocolate piece in his brother's mouth who didn't seem to care at all.

"You're getting overexcited again Matsu." The smaller redhead spoke rather calmly as the taller one chewed the piece and made a face.

"You gave me the coconut one on purpose."

"You _love_ macaroons-"

"It's not that same thing as russian chocolate covered coconut shavings you uncultured _brat_!"

"Stop being a baby. You're the oldest are you not?" Matsubusa just snarled angrily about Maxie 'Not getting the point. That it had to do with the mixing flavors and quality.'. Archie was concerned about the now half empty tray only growing smaller via the tiny fork the Magma leader was using. "As well, how did you know about his hobbies?"

"Come now dear brother you know how we do things in this family." Maxie's brother seemed apologetic as his smile lessened to a small pout.

"...you know I don't like it when you spy on those I'm with."

"I am aware but it's just for safety's sake. Butttt to be fair Maxie-max, Archie here isn't too good at hiding his information." A long arm wrapped around his neck and pulled him close to the brothers. Archie tried not to notice the tension in the owner's muscles as he was dragged with little trouble next to Matsubusa. "I found out out plenty by _myself_! Didn't even need to use my network. A few emails here, a couples files there and I know more about the man then you do at the moment."

Another set of knocks made Archie want to flee from the vice grip tightening steadily when he took a step towards the door. They were rhythmatic in what sounded like a erratic beat. Like a secret password.

"About damn time...the door's open!" Another redhead, equally as tall as Matsubusa but with the same resting scowl that could rival Maxie's walked in. "For Rayquaza's sake Maxwell, need a break to rest those old bones from all that walking?"

"If you'd stop running around like a child I wouldn't have to chase after you." His voice commanded attention; deep and frighteningly sharp with eyes pitch black and colder than anything Archie had ever had the displeasure of having rest on him. "...this is him?"

"Come now brother...surely you remember Archie!"

"The little brat who kept pestering Maxie when we were younger?"

"Hey I'm RIGHT here-!" His mouth snapped closed tight when Maxwell's scowl turned to a glare. A few short strides left them face to face and he felt tiny compared to the twins looking down on him.

"Don't take it personally Arch, Maxwell doesn't like to share." Matsubusa...oddly didn't smell like booze. More like the expensive cologne the other twin was wearing. At least he assumed it was expensive. Maxwell's suit was brand new, form fitting and wasn't offset by his slicked back hair and predominate widows peak. Everything was so _on point_ it made Archie feel a little self conscious.

"And I will not 'share' with anyone not capable enough to give my brother the proper care he deserves."

"Ob-vi-ous-ly! Honestly do you think I'll let Maxie run off with some punk or basic bastard? I like _**this**_ guy though; easy to track, even easier to learn about, and you gotta admit he's attractive. Plus...he didn't think twice at back talking me."

"None of that makes him worth Maxie's time brother. Speaking of which, where is-" The team Magma leader had been eating slower when his brother had walked in but with Maxwell now looking at him he had stopped with a hand-caught-in-the-cookie-jar guilty expression. "Tell me you did not eat an entire tray of sweets."

"Er..." The giant plate wasn't _empty_ but it held at most 4 or five things left with the fork in one of them. Maxie didn't seem able to form a proper excuse or lie. Instead growing quiet and avoiding eye contact.

"Oh lay off Max, let the kid eat his bonbons in peace."

"Don't give me that! I know **you** were the one who gave him it! He's going to get sick-!"

"He's over _30_!" Archie snapped. Neither man spared him a glance despite his shout.

" _Matsubusa I swear to god-_ "

" _What? You wanna_ _ **fight**_ _about it?_ "

"Would you look at the time! They should be done setting up now. Let's go before the appetizers spoil." With a huff Maxie grabbed his hand and with both brothers distracted Archie was able to get away from their heated cursing. "Make sure to close the door after you two are done."

"These locks aren't an issue."

 _Half the things that come out of their mouths don't make any sense..._ Never the less his redhead seemed to accept that as a good answer. Taking him into the hallway and almost all the way to the banquet hall before stopping with a shaky breath.

"If anyone offers you anything just say you've already eaten."

"Er...okay?" Archie wanted to ask why but the doors were pushed open indicating the staff had finished decorating. Oddly there were already many people chatting away with champagne in hand. Maxie had pulled away, leaving a quickly fading warmth as he joined the sea of red and occasional different colors.

Some of those who ushered the pirate to speak with them he could recall; a few actors and actresses, dentists and lawyers, police chiefs and beauticians. All smiling and laughing as Archie tried his damnest to keep up with their wit and ignoring anything backhanded that he was losing patience for at a absolutely shocking rate.

Any glances he fleetingly shared with the Magma Leader made him look at a stranger. Maxie didn't look right when he smiled with his cousins. A perfect and _flawless_ smile plastered on his face like everyone else in the room.

"A pleasure to finally meet my cousin's newest conquest!" The worse one yet was a man introduced as Randolph. "Hoenn brand eh...? I expected another classy Kalosian."

He had no filter. No respect and stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Hehe...don't get so bent outta shape there. I'm just giving you fair warning. After all, I **dated** the bastard."

"I- didn't ya-"

His grin reminded Archie of a Cheshire cat. But sent a spike of disgust through him for some reason. "Originally me and him were a thing. Thankfully I bit the bullet and married his bombshell of a cousin. You'll never know how grateful I was for that. Dude's got _issues_."

"..." What was he supposed to respond with? That was- what kind of person-?!

"...although, I DO sometimes miss the _**physical**_ benefits of putting up with him. Ah well. I wanna see how long you'll last with that-"

"Ayyy Randy! Long time no see!~" Like a murderous angel Matsubusa came to his rescue. The blood drained from the man's face the moment dark red eyes met green. Randolph muttered out a excuse of needing to check on his wife before scurrying away. "Fufu...bit of a coward that one."

"He's an ass."

"So you noticed?~ He's more than a little wary of me and Max after his little rendezvous with our cousin became permanent." Out of the corner of his eye he could've sworn something was dropped in his drink (it suddenly fizzled but there could be no way after nearly an hour of being still). "I have _got_ to know though...have you and my dear brother...appreciated one another's bodies yet?"

If he had been drinking Archie would've choked. Violently.

"I'll take that as a 'no.'"

"W-we-! There's no rush to-! Why do you even?!"

"Because I'm cur-i-ous! Last thing anyone needs is the perfect balance of emotional crap only to find out they... _disappoint_ , in the fun times for adults department."

Maxie's brother only smirked at his reddening cheeks. Giving him a probing look that only intensified the more silent he was.

"Than, my dear Archie, I'll give you some pointers to grab Maxie's attention. And keep it." As if he was sharing a dangerous secret his voice dropped to a whisper. "You already have the _looks_ down, but my baby brother requires more than appearance. Spoiling him will earn you SO many brownie points. He'll tell you he hates it, will definitely fight you on it but he turns to mush when you smother him in affection. Contact, presents, sweets- as you saw earlier, his sweet tooth doesn't know moderation. He can and will eat his weight and _more_ in chocolate so...keep that in mind for a rainy day yeah?"

 _That explains why the brookie just up and disappeared..._ It had been in the fridge untouched for days and one morning he went to help make breakfast (he wasn't gonna mooch!) and the container was in the garbage completely cleaned. When and how was never answered.

"Hmm...I don't want to ruin the fun of figuring him out...but...I think I'll end it for now on a high note."

Food seemed to appear out of thin air with the tall redhead as he presented Archie with a plate of salmon.

"Take this as a promise of good will."

In confusion he took it and rose an eyebrow to the now mere inches away man.

"I said I supported you and Maxie's union, but if he so much as shed's a single tear you'll be missing more than a few **fingers**...are we clear?" Now this was the face of the rumored gang leader. Smile wide in the most unpleasant ways as he spoke with a tone the Aqua Leader recalled all too well.

"Of course." The pleased chirp of 'Glad we understand each other!' didn't dull the thrumming of Archie's heart. Nor the wave and giggle of asking Maxie himself how their relationship was progressing seemed to register.

Everything seemed numb as he tried to ignore the many different women attempting to flirt with him. None too surprised when, after acting incredibly offended about him being with someone already, grew smug when they learned it was Maxie.

"You like low achievers then?"

"No, he's more of a quitter."

"Did he beg you to be with him? Subtly has always been a foreign concept to him."

One of them, a woman dressed in silk with every curve accentuated and skin as dark as his glared at the women gossiping and held out her hand to him.

"Please pay no attention to the chattering hens. They grow bitter with every passing year of singularity. My name is Yani, I was a candidate of marriage for your lover. Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Archie. And I'll keep that in mind." She smiled in return for his laugh. It was void of the snark all the others held. Lips plump and eyes a melting earth brown. New moon black hair draping over her shoulders to add more compliments to her form. In layman's terms, she was drop dead gorgeous.

"How about we enjoy the first dance to these next few unbearable days? I will warn you; there are rules and they are out of the ordinary." Archie felt his mind reel in conflict. _I shouldn't be around any of these people for too long...but she's not apart of the family...and it'd be rude to say no..._

"Why not? Might as well have some fun right?"

* * *

"THE FIRST DANCE WILL BE STARTING SHORTLY!" Maxie's throat tightened when those words echoed throughout the hall. To say he hated the dances would be an understatement. Panic welded up when he couldn't spot Archie but he tried to retain his composure as he reminded himself that it was the other's first party. The rules stated no one from the family could initiate a dance with another until their second ball came around.

Yet with every minute he was unable to find the pirate his nerves shot up more and more.

"Maxie." His brother pushed past the crowd going to floor to watch. Walking with all the restraint of someone near hysterical. "Maxie you need to-"

"THE FIRST DANCE WILL BE BETWEEN THE NEWLY INTRODUCED ARCHIE AND THE LOVELY YANI IN A THREE WAVE WALTZ!"

 _No._ Maxie held his tongue until they got to the front row. His worry solidified as he watched his aunt pull out her Alakazam and the two blindfolded dancers readied themselves for the music. _NONO_ _ **NO.**_ _..!_

"Brother, has he ever...?"

"I taught him to waltz only weeks ago." Maxwell's silence was crippling. A hand was firmly holding him in place as they started to move. "I need to-"

"You can't keep gambling yourself in these barbaric games! This may not be the traditional dance but that luck can't keep up forever!" His brother's hand was shaking. The music was picking up now. It would be only minutes before the first wave ended.

"Brother _please_ -"

"Last year's loser ended up in the hospital and he was **well liked**. With your current opinion I can't-"

" _ **Maxwell...!**_ " The music froze for a moment, the first wave was over. Maxie met the face close to physically restraining him with a pleading look of his own.

"..." Maxwell squeezed his wrist before releasing him. Quickly he grabbed a blindfold and forced away the tremble in his voice when he called out.

"Switch!"

Something pulled him away from the dance floor when the music stopped and landed hard on his ass. His blindfold untied to meet the sight of Maxie moving to his spot and spinning along with Yani without missing a beat.

"If he loses..." Maxwell was behind him. His stoic domineer seemed stressed and on edge. Gaze never leaving the small redhead whose movements were fluid and unpredictable all at once.

"THE SECOND WAVE HAS TRULY BEGUN!"

No sooner had the announcer said that than the tiles around the two began to float and move. Some slowly, while others spun rapidly in place like dull razor blades you'd see in horror films.

"This...what the hell is this...?!" Looking to the older sibling for answers he only received a pitying glance.

A couple near them were muttering lowly to themselves in boredom.

"When are they going to bring back the old fashioned way? Shame and one little cut isn't entertaining at all."

"I know...! The best ones are always the high stake final waltz!"

 _Wh...what the actual hell did that woman try to do to me...?!_

"She was trying to embarrass you infront of everyone." Maxwell finally spoke up. Helping Archie stand he tossed the blindfold away as if it insulted him by merely being there. "Bending the rules by using loopholes...how typical of her."

"This...how can someone lose at _dancing_?!"

"It's a memory and improv game. The one who can gracefully move about the floor without messing up 'wins.' Sure others can jump in during the end of each wave, but Yani is still unmarried and still a contender for Maxie's hand. No one would willingly fight her and spare you."

"...what happens when ya lose?"

"You're labelled a joke and at the end you get stabbed. Once. Shallow and in non-vital parts. But considering last ball's punishments kept happening twice and _twisting_ …" Maxie's brother trailed off in thought. "I believe they want to bring back the traditional way. Where it only ends with one dancer being skewered."

"Yer shitting me."

"I wish I was."

"NOW, THE FINAL WAVE WILL-"

"Switch!~"

* * *

He bit down hard on his lip when her voice rang out clear as day. Joyful and eager as she switched places with Yani and pressed herself close to him.

"How long has it been since we've seen each other Max…?" Lavender perfume drifted into his senses as they both kept away from the spinning tiles and knives that would be moving and certainly edging closer as the end neared.

"Daisy." Her name made his tongue burn. Maxie knew she was smiling as he led their turns. "What do you think you're doing..?"

"I wanted to dance with you again. Like we used to." The world was spinning. _No we are...aren't we?_ "I know you're with someone else, but just this once…."

With the final note dropped he dipped her and froze when she cupped his face. Daisy's lips were soft against his; light but lingering as the sickening sweet flavor of her invaded his mouth. His knuckles clenched in disgust when she had the audacity to press their foreheads together.

As if they were still friends.

As if she wasn't just another tool to make Maxie 'normal.'

As if when he pushed her away and claimed victory he didn't feel the disgust turn to guilt when he hesitated to remove the blindfold.

He didn't want to see her dress splattered in red. Daisy never looked good in red. She was too soft. Too demure for something so aggressive. Her hands had been sweating before it ended, knowing all too well who would be the victor. Blonde hair starting to curl under stress and all too happy and _in love_ blue eyes locked on him when he heard the whimper of twisting blades-

No…

No he didn't feel bad at all.


End file.
